The Blog | 2014 | Canadian Short Screenplay Competition

the blog. (2014)

Explore the 2014 archives of The Blog, the award-winning voice of the Canadian Short Screenplay Competition. Highlights include screenwriting insights from #WW 2014 Laureate Evan Jobb.

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What is your Story About?

Evan Jobb

11 Jun 2014

As I stated last week, I have been planning out a short horror script and though I haven’t spent as much time on writing as I should (that’s what I get for working at the Halifax Independent Film Festival) I am nearly finished outlining the story and should be starting a first draft in a matter of days.

What does this have to do with this weeks post? Well I have a little tip for everyone out there who is in the planning stages of their script.

Figure out what your script is about.

This should seem pretty obvious, so let me explain.

What I mean by this is, figure out what message you want to communicate, or why you want to write this script?

As I went through the planning of my script I wrote out brief biographies of my characters, their personalities, their fears, their wants and needs and I plotted out my main plot points such as the catalyst, inciting incident and what the climax should be based on the want and need I had assigned to my protagonist.

But as I looked back at my planning I was left with one simple thought.

Why did I write this?

The honest answer was I wanted to write a horror script, so I tried to plan out a story that was interesting and scary at the same time.

But that isn’t enough. I had no message in my script. That means there was no depth to my story, no ideas to plant into the audience’s mind, no observations of the world or society, nothing.

If you find yourself in the same situation as me, I suggest you go back to the genesis of your idea. That first thought that spark the creation of your story. Back at that point you made a decision to take that idea and turn it into a story. Something in that idea compelled you to write. That is your theme.

When I went back to my initial idea I found that I had written this story because I wanted to explore the abusiveness of love. I wanted to explore an emotionally abusive relationship between a mother and daughter and draw horror out of an emotion not normally associated with horror.

With that in mind, my script suddenly has direction. I now understand why I want to write this script and now I can actually write it.

Until next week, keep writing.

An Observation from The Evil Dead

Evan Jobb

4 Jun 2014

I have recently wrapped up writing the feature that I have been working on for the last year and a half and have found myself in the process of looking for a new project. I have an idea for another feature, but I’m not ready to make that commitment yet, so I am starting to write a horror short.

I am a big horror fan but for some reason I have never fully embraced writing a horror script. I have tried a few times but moved on to other projects before I finished. The only one I recall finishing was one I wrote for a 48 hour competition last fall. Writing that script was a blast, so I’m inching to give it another try.

In honour of my endeavors to write a horror script, this week I am bringing you a tip from The Evil Dead (1981). I recently revisited this movie and from the very start I was struck with a simple observation.

The film contains horror from the very first scene onward.

Of course this sounds like a given, but many horror films do not follow this simple formula. Slasher movies in particular could benefit from this tip.

Slasher films often start with an opening scene that establishes the killer but then they focus on the lives of the characters. Only later do the worlds of the killer and the characters merge. The trouble is that in these scripts the characters are never very interesting and the writers never try to set up interesting plots because they know they will just have to abandon them when the killer shows up.

But The Evil Dead doesn’t have this problem. Sure the characters are just as bland as slashers but The Evil Dead compensates for its barely interesting characters by making sure there is something scary in every scene.

The opening scene has the unknown force lurking in the woods, eventually finding the main characters in their car and almost crashing them into an oncoming truck. The next scene features the rickety bridge that almost collapses under the car. The third scene has the group approach the cabin wherein the swinging chair on the porch bangs against the wall, that is until they open the front door, at which times it stops. The next scene features noises coming from the cellar. And so on.

Ultimately the film could be better if the characters had more personality, but even with the low budget effects of The Evil Dead and the first time acting skills of the cast, the movie is always discussed whenever the best/most influential horror movies are discussed and I think this is because the horror infused scenes keep it interesting and give it a fast pace.

There is never a dull moment in the film, there is always something lurking and waiting for the main cast, the audience never feels they are safe. This keeps the audience invested and wanting to see what happens next.

So if you are like me and about to embark on a horror script my suggestion to you is to be like The Evil Dead, put an element of horror in every scene.

Because the audience came to see horror, so why not give them what they asked for?

Description in Real Time

Evan Jobb

28 May 2014

In Blog the 18th I discussed the use of adverbs and how I was on the fence about using them. In the last 4 weeks I have had time to consider my approach and can now say that I have reached the conclusion that adverbs are in fact useless and should never occur in a screenplay.

By there definition adverbs are used to describe verbs, much like adjectives describe nouns. However whereas nouns require adjectives to better describe them, there is a wealth of verbs that act just like adverbs. Why should I say “he moves quickly across the room” when I can just use the word “runs”, “dashes”, “darts”, “rushes”, “sprints”, “zooms”, “rockets” or “zips”? The adverbs is redundent and nothing in a script should ever be redundent.

So get rid of those adverbs by choosing better verbs.

With that out of the way, let’s move on to today’s topic.

How long to make the description?

The basic template is that 1 page of a script equals 1 minute. Of course this isn’t exact as dialog heavy pages are shorter and description heavy pages are often longer. But it is a good guideline and will serve as a basis for my examples.

An outcome of this template is that it dictates the amount of description you can use for a specific event. For example, if a character is watching the sunset and you write half a page of description for that sunset then you are expecting a 30 second long shot of a sunset to occur in the final film. As well, if you wants someone to kick down a door, fire 2 shots and crack open a safe and you write it in 2 lines, you are expecting it to all happen in less than 10 seconds.

It is important to remember that the amount of description you give an event must correspond to how important that event is and thusly correspond to the amount of screentime it receives.

I recently read a script that had two characters dance together (at a bar I think). The dance was written in 2 lines and consisted of the characters meeting on the dancefloor and dancing for the entire song (the fact they danced for the entire song was in the description).

Since an entire song is likely to be about 4 minutes long, this interaction should have been 4 pages long if done in real time. Of course films are rarely in real time, so I would estimate that if you had a 2 minute song the audience would not notice that the song was cut short. So to be realistic let’s say the interaction on screen would be 2 minutes long and thus would need to be 2 pages long in the script.

You may be thinking that it doesn’t really matter how long the dance is written because if it is written in 2 lines or 2 pages it will still exist as an action in the story. But a screenplay is not like a novel, it cannot stretch or shorten time in any major way. In a novel I could write this dance to be 2 lines or 15 pages because I can into the character’s minds and go off into tangents. But in a script short of doing a flashback, I am stuck watching the characters and that has to be done in pretty much real time because ultimately this script is going to become a film and must adhere to the rules of film making.

Therefore, if you must have the characters dance for 2 minutes they must be doing something else. There has to be some other visuls involved, or a conversation or something that pushes the plot further. The scene is going to need to be 2 pages long anyway so write something interesting.

When you are writing remember to take a moment to imagine the actions playing out in a film. See if you have given enough time to the actions that need it or if you have given too much time to quick actions. It will make your script more readable and translate better to film.

Until next week, keep writing.

Writing Supporting Characters

Evan Jobb

21 May 2014

Well it’s been a busy couple of weeks, I just graduated from my second degree and got a full time job teaching in the fall. I am also deep into editing a feature screenplay with the hopes of finishing it soon and gathering up science resources for my future career as a teacher.

But even with all of this, I still have found time to learn about screenwriting and this tip come from the podcast ScriptChat.

This tip is not new, I have heard it before and I am sure you have as well, but it came to me at a time when I desperately needed it so I want to pass it along to you.

Here it is: When writing supporting characters give them one trait that makes them interesting.

What makes this tip so great is that it is simple and easily achievable. One trait, that is all they need. They can be obsessive, they can be a dieter, they can always be the best dressed, they can play guitar, garden, be a political activist, birdwatcher, it doesn’t matter, as long as they are something.

When writing script you can often find yourselves building long bios about your main characters to give them depth, but when it comes to supporting characters it is easy to just cast them aside and say “well they’re only in 2 scenes so they don’t need a long bio.” While it’s true they don’t need a long bio, there is no excuse for uninteresting characters.

Quite simply a script with bland characters is a bland script. Even if your main character is the most interesting and well thought out character, if they interact with characters with no personality the script will be boring.

Here’s an example for you.

In my screenplay I have a scene where my main character brings his 2 year old into the kitchen. In the kitchen sits his in-laws. That’s the set up, pretty standard. Now let’s add some characters.

My main character, James, has a trouble dealing with his anger, his in-laws are in the house because he is having financial troubles and has had to move in with them. He was once a dreamer, but now he has been force to settle for a mediocre life. He’s not very happy with his living situation and I want to set up his temper so he is going to burn himself while making toast. Now the scene has some direction and I can write it.

And I did.

And it was kinda boring.

Because the in-laws just sat around eating breakfast and the baby added very little to the scene.

I had to make them interesting so I gave them each one trait.

So now the baby, Olivia, has just fallen out of her crib and hit her head, the Father in-law is preparing for an early morning run because he is a health buff, and the Mother in-law is gambling on scratch tickets and believes the baby brings luck.

These supporting characters are really only in a few scenes so their trait really doesn’t influence the plot in any major ways (though they are still going to need to pay off in some way later), however it does make the scene more interesting. Now instead of just sitting around they all have something they are doing and something they want to accomplish. As a bonus the scene is now a little more chaotic which is to be expected when 4 people are in a kitchen and it will help highlight my main character’s temper.

There is another reason to follow this lesson and it is a situation that is unique to screenwriting: someone has to play these characters.

If my Father in-law is underdeveloped then there is really no reason anyone would want to be that character and thus they won’t likely bring a good performance to the film. But if the Father in-law is interesting, if he is a surrogate father to my main character, if he is a health nut that runs every morning, then there is some personality there, there is something interesting in that character that an actor could explore and bring to the film.

Good actors want to play good characters. It’s as simple as that. And the last thing you want is an actor/actress to approach you on set and say “what’s my motivation?” and you have no idea because you just wrote them as “the father who eats breakfast and says 3 lines about parenting”.

So give it a try. Look at your characters and ask yourself, do they have one interesting trait? If not, give them one. You’ll see that your whole script becomes a lot more interesting.

Naming Names

Evan Jobb

14 May 2014

As promised from last week I want to talk about naming characters.

Personally I hate naming characters because I come from the school of thought that says “only write what is important” and whether my main character is named John, Oscar, Tyrese or Phoenix is really not important to the stories I write.

Sure each name may conjure up a different image in your head, but in reality anyone can have any name regardless of any preconceived notions.

Now, I will admit, in period pieces names are important to get right. If you are writing about late 1800′s Britain it is likely you will pick a name like George or Charles or Gideon instead of names like Mort or Neil. This is because there was less diversity of names in those periods. But in the present day (or the future) I don’t think there really is any reason to pick any specific names. Except, I have noticed, if you need to state the race of your character.

If I tell you my characters name is Mi-do you will probably think they are Korean. But if I name them Glen the race is not clear (he could be Koren American like in the Walking Dead). Again if I name my character Tyrese I think of the character from the Walking Dead and will think they are African American, but if I name my character Nicholas they could be anyone (Sam Jackson as Nick Fury or Simon Pegg as Nicholas Angel).

And this is the problem I have noticed with naming characters. Unless it is important that a character is a specific race, the name can be anything. But because writers what to leave their options available they go for what they consider to be race-non-specific names such as Nicholas or Glenn or Max Dillon.

This causes 2 problems.

1) Everyone writes the same names for their characters. There seems to be a John and Chris in almost every script as well and Emily and Mary and it means that a character with this name does not stand out but is just another John or Mary (similar to the thousands of others out there). If someone is reading many scripts a day then all the characters with the same name can start blending together and the characters become forgettable.

2) Characters are assumed to be Caucasian unless specified. This may just be my observation as a Caucasian (and I may be simply reading between the lines too much) but if a character has a generic Caucasian name and a race isn’t given, I’m going to assume they are Caucasian. And again, if you “only write what is important” then you don’t need to write the race of any of your characters, unless of course it is important. Therefore unless your script is about race or racism, every character ends up being Caucasian.

Just like last weeks post where I pointed out that woman’s roles can be easily underrepresented, this brings up a similar problem. It paints a picture of a world that is not reflective of the actual world and a world that underrepresents a vast majority of people.

I’m not sure what the solution to this problem is, so all I can do is highlight this issue. I feel like the solution is just to populate your stories with people of all races even if their race is not critical to the story.

The other thing you could do is simply to stop using overused names like John, Chris and Emily (no offense to the John’s, Chris’ and Emily’s out there) but of course don’t go too far and use names that no one can pronounce. I still think Hermone was a terrible name choice.

If you have any thoughts on this issue I would love to hear them. Comment or email me at jobb.writing@gmail.com. Until next week, keep writing.

Gender and Characters

Evan Jobb

7 May 2014

I had originally planned to follow up last weeks post with some more tips on writing description but that will have to be delayed because while working on my own writing I started upon what was going to be my next set of topics: stereotypes. The sentence that caused this change was as follows:

“The Nurse looks around and spies the police officer at the end of the hall. She signals to him.”

The first sentence isn’t bad, but what threw me for a loop was the second sentence, “She signals to him.”

Why did I say the nurse was a woman and the police officer was a man?

I care about the state of roles in films for women and I do my best to give the women more interesting roles. Or at least I’m trying to, but as a male I tend to to default my writing to males and my recent outing has been male driven; a father son relationship (I’m planning to remedy this with my next project).

I realize that this script can be changed to a mother and daughter (or son) but the relationship is about anger and abuse and it fits better into the stereotype of a father/son relationship and therefore the man focus of the story is on male characters.

And this is the problem that is brought up by my sentence, writing uses stereotypes. When writing you are trying to paint a realistic world but you are also trying to create a believable world. Of course this is difficult since many movies contain elements that are often not considered realistic, but nevertheless must be presented as believable. So how do you balance the extreme and possibly non-believable parts of your story? You choose the low hanging fruit in other areas, you choose stereotypes that the audience instantly recognizes. In this way they can focus their believability on the ghost instead of rough and tough woman police officer (who, of course you are using for drama, not as a comic relief character)

This brings me back around to the reason for my post. Why did I say the nurse was a woman and the police officer was a man?

Because that is the default choice most people would make. It is what is to be expected. Since I don’t really care about the gender of the two character’s I default to the stereotypes because if I changed the genders the audience may notice and focus on that aspect instead of the aspect I want them to focus on.

But to say that breaking stereotypes is distracting is just distracting. In reality there is no reason I cannot switch the gender of these characters because it is completely reasonably for a man in the real world to be a nurse and a woman in the real world to be a police officer.

Take a look at any of the characters in your stories and ask yourself “why did I write them to be that gender?” and see what answer you can give. If your answer is “I don’t know” or “because that’s a man/woman’s job” then you are making a mistake. In my example, there is no reason the genders should be set the way they are (and no reason to set them any other way, but if I want to use pronouns I have to set a gender) so I am left with two choices 1) go for the stereotypical genders or 2) switch it up.

So here is my task for you. Look at your characters and see where you are falling into stereotypes and defy them. Some may feel that you are trying to make a statement or that you are just switching genders for the hell of it, but tell them that you are just trying to depict the new normal, women are represented in society, so represent them in films.

And not just as the nurses.

Next week I will be talking about names and race because unfortunately as a writer, you also have to make this decision.

Before I go I want you leave you this this. Those Forgotten is playing in the American Online Film Awards and it’s only 4 bucks to sign up and watch it and many other great short films. That’s less than half the price of a movie ticket, so what have you got to lose? Check it out at: https://www.americanonlinefilmawards.org/

Which Words to Write?

Evan Jobb

30 Apr 2014

Recently I have been working on the descriptive language I use when writing my scripts. I learned early on to say the most with the least amount of words, but of course, like everything in screenwriting, there are many methods to perfecting this skill.

Another rule I had learned early on was to never use the word “is” in any description or action lines. Thus you never write:

Paul is reaching for the gun

Instead you write:

Paul reaches for the gun.

For all you grammar buffs out there, a screenplay is written in the Present Simple tense. For everyone else (including me) dropping the word “is” makes the sentence read as less passive and gives an immediacy which makes your script sound better.

Recently I read an update to this rule that I think helps with writing description and it is as follows:

“Don’t use ‘as’, ‘while’, ‘are’ ‘then’ or “is” when writing description in a script.”

Now we have a variety of words that we aren’t allowed to use and while some of them are just “is” in different tenses, it is helpful to have a list of them just in case you accidentally used them. As well the addition of “while” and “then” will help with action scenes.

Using “while” and “then” is very tempting when writing action because they help link sentences together and tell you what is happening next. However, they are redundantly over-used words. In a script the next sentence is of course the next action that is happening, therefore you don’t need to use “while” or “then” to inform the reader of the next action. They are simply words that take up space and add nothing of value to your description.

If you are going to follow the rule; say the most with the least number of words, then you need to drop “while” and “then”.

Another rule I have heard comes from Stephen King’s book “On Writing” but I have often heard it applied to screenwriting. That rules is:

Don’t use adverbs.

You may have noticed I wrote the words,”redundantly over-used words”. I didn’t write this because I am terrible at editing, it was to highlight how the adverb isn’t always necessary. I could have just said “redundant words” or “over-used words” but instead I used an adverb and it was… well… redundant.

Often times adverbs are redundant. Saying someone quickly runs is really just the same as saying they run because by the simple act of running they are moving quickly.

Now I am on the fence with this rule because though I acknowledge this rule on many occasions I still find myself using adverbs from time to time. What if the room is dimly lit? Or what if that baby bump is barely showing?

Now, I’m sure I could rewrite all of these phrases without using the adverb but sometimes I don’t find the sentence to be better. So instead I follow the rule, use adverbs sparingly.

Figuring out which words to use in your description is a difficult task when starting out. Often times you will be tempted to break the rules or you will realize in your editing that you were never following them. But rest assured, these rules exist and your script must follow them.

Script Types Part 4

Evan Jobb

23 Apr 2014

Today I present you my 4th and final outing into the world of script types. With the 3 presented today I will bring the total number of script types I have offered to 9. I wanted to reach 10 but I could not come up with another one that I thought was common enough to discuss. Perhaps in the future I will find a few more and discuss them, but for now this is it. Next week I will switch it up, but as of this writing, I am not sure of what topic I will post. You’ll have to tune in next week to find out. But enough about me, let’s get on with the post.

The Event
I often refer to this script type as being the different between a skit and a story. A skit (or an Event in this case) is when something happens while a story is when something important happens. Similar to Action for Action’s sake, this script focuses on action, but in this script type it is the character’s growth that suffers.

For a story to be significant there must be a reason that it is told. There has to be some reason this time in the life of your character is being told and not some other time. Often this significance is shown in the character’s arc and their realization at the end of the story.

In The Event, this realization and siginficance are missing. The story takes place and it may have a full and developed plot, but at the end of the story the events have had not had any sigificance on any of the characters. I have found that this script often occurs when the protagonist is modeled off of the action movie archetype. At the start the protagonist is a witty badass with all of the answers and the skills to thwart anyone and at the end of the story they can still be described the same way. Though they may have done some thrilling feats and defeated the antagonists, at the end they have not grown as a character. If you ever find yourself in this situation ask yourself, why was Die Hard so successful while the sequels have never quite been able to hit the same mark? It’s because Jon McClane is just your average police officer in the first one, but in the latter ones he is an action star and his personal growth never reaches the same levels as the first film.

The Twist
I blogged about twist endings during my last stay with the CSSC, but I still want to revisit this script type. I am what you could call a bad movie aficionado so I have seen more than my fair share of terrible twist endings and I have concluded that a twist will work if:

The twist makes sense in terms of the rules of the given world
The twist answers a question that has been put into the mind of the audience
The twist does not devalue the actual ending of the story.

The first point means that the script cannot just change the rules and introduce new elements. Often times this can just simply be stated that the twist is logical and follows the logic of the story, but other times it just simply makes up new rules for the story (see Tim Burtons remake of Planet of the Apes for this).

Other times logical gaps can lead to twists. American Psycho 2 is presented so straight faced and haphazardly (people are killed in public places like the middle of a library) that I assumed there had to be a twist. Turns out the twist is not who the killer really is, the twist is how she survived and the story simply never discusses why no one noticed the dead body that had been sitting in the library for the last few days.

The second points mean that the twist must help the audience make sense of the story. This is often used in “whodunits” as it is revealed who the murderer really is. I saw a movie recently where I spent the whole time wondering who the killer really was and at the end it was revealed that the killer was none of the characters in the movie, but some new character. The question the movie raised in my head was, “which of the characters is the killer?” the answer the movie gave me was “none of them”. In this case the twist didn’t work because it didn’t effectively answer the question raised by the story, it just left me disappointed.

The third point refers to those twist endings that happen after the ending of the story. These are most commonly dream sequences. These twists are designed to give the audience another view of the story and to see things at a deeper level but many times they just come off as annoying because the audience realizes they sat through an hour and a half just to learn that it had all been a dream and none of it mattered. This is why I have a problem with The Usual Suspects. I know I am in the minority here, but the twist just made me annoyed because it devalued every part of the story that had come before.

Random Comedy
This type of script tries to find comedy in random events. Some jokes play off the audience’s expectations. The comedian sets up a joke and the audience expects a particular conclusion, but the comedy defies their expectations and says something unexpected.

Random Comedy is based on this idea, expect instead of setting up an expectation, it just simply goes for the unexpected. The set up is lost and this is what makes it random. Take a look at the show Family Guy, many of the “cut aways” are just random events and the humor (many times) is derived from being random. However saying random things isn’t always funny. A joke works if it gives something unexpected, but if the audience becomes aware that only the unexpected will happen, then is it unexpected anymore?

This idea is also found in many ads (most effectively in the Old Spice Commercials) and finds its way into scripts as well. The trouble is, a random event may be funny the first time, or over a short run time (like commercials) but it will become frustrating over an extended length of time.

The audience does not want to know what is happening next in a script, they want to be surprised, however they also seek logic in a story. Random Comedy provides the unexpected but if random things are happening all the time then the story is no longer grounded in any sort of logic. The unexpected becomes the expected, the jokes stop working and the plot becomes frustrating. The reason a comedian sets up the joke is to dictate expectations and keep the unexpected, unexpected.

So that’s it for script types. Hopefully these have helped in some way and I’ll see you next week with a whole new topic.

Script Types: Part 3

Evan Jobb

16 April 2014

This week I’m continuing my series and looking into how to fix up common mistakes in 2 more types of scripts. Enjoy.

Action for Action’s Sake
This type of film, as implied by the name, is more interested in showing off flashy visuals and fast pace action then developing characters and furthering the story.

If the major fist fight in your script can be reduced to the words, “Punches are thrown until eventually Steven is knocked out.” or your dance scene can be written as “They pull of some sick moves and dazzle the crowd.” or your car chase written as, “The cars race down the street at top speed until the spike strip pops the tires and the car flips into the ditch.” then you are writing Action for Action’s Sake. Sure I wrote all of these examples in simple and uninspired language and therefore I could make them much more interesting and sure, the police catching the criminal after the police chase furthers the plot. However, if the only part that furthers your plot is the end of the action scene, then ask yourself; how long should the action scene be? 1 paragraph? 2? A page? 2 pages?

If your action scene relies soley on a single plot point at the end of the scene then every moment of that action scene simply exists to pad out time before that plot point. Therefore the more plot points (or even better, character growth) you can put in an action scene, the longer and more fullfilling that scene can be.

For an example, look at the 3rd act of Hot Fuzz, it is almost completely action scenes. However all the moments are payoffs to jokes and plot points that were set up earlier in the story and it makes the 3rd act fun and exciting. If you are not looking for comedy in your script, look to the Star Wars movies. The lightsaber fight between Luke and Darth Vader in Empire Strikes Back is way more interesting then the flashing climatic fight at the end of The Phantom Menace. Why? Because in Empire they were interested in characters and not in action. Even though The Phantom Menace has flashier action, it is worthless without strong emotions and plot.

So take a look at your action scenes and make sure that your scene cannot be reduced to a single sentence. Make sure your scene if full of character moments or plot points that push the plot forward.

Slice of Life
On the opposite side of the spectrum from Action for Action’s Sake we have Slice of Life. This story is focused on the sort of troubles that regular people face in their day to day life. Therefore there are no crazy action scenes and often no life changing events. Slice of Life is interested in the idea of the audience being a fly-on-the-wall and observing a typical day in the life of another person (and life changing events are not typical events).

This type of script is really it’s own genre and is quite popular. The Italian classics The Bicycle Theives and Umerbto D could be categories as Slice of Life, as well The Tree of Life and Inside Llweyn Davies had many of the qualities of a Slice of Life script. The trouble that one can find themselves in writing such a script is that ultimately there must be some reason that the particular story being told, is being told. By this I mean, if you want to show the typical day in the life of a character, then why did you pick the particular day that the story takes place? Why not 10 days before? Or 6 years after?

The day you pick must be because something not quite typical is happening. Over the course of a person’s life (in Canada at least) there are going to be more run of the mill days than life affirming days.

This isn’t to say you must have something monuments happen in your script, because if it did it would no longer be a Slice of Life. In Inside Llwyen Davies his ultimate arc is that he must decide whether to continue his music career or not. This isn’t a typical week in his life because (presumably) he doesn’t face this decision every week. Therefore there is something important about this week and thus there is a reason why this week is being depicted in the story.

So if you are writing a Slice of Life you are interested in the day to day life of a character, however, you must still have something that makes it a not-so-typical day. It just isn’t some grand monuments thing like learning you are The One, or saving the world or deciding to cook crystal meth. Instead you are interested in the quieter moments of life such as deciding to break up with a partner, taking the stage at a comedy club or searching for a missing bike.

Script Types Part 2

Evan Jobb

9 Apr 2014

Continuing on from last week, I will once again be presenting my thoughts on two types of scripts that I often find when reading scripts or watching short films. So without further adieu.

Message Script
This type of script often gets mixed up with the Diary Entry type, but can also exist on it’s own. This type of script is defined by its primary focus being on on a message instead of the plot. What I mean by this is that this film really wants to tell you something.

Since every script/story should have a message (at least I believe so), having a message is not a bad thing, in fact it is a must for any story, however, this type of script has taken the message a little too far. The message in this type of film is usually laid out in a long speech that details every little nuance of the message or quickly said by the characters in a way that has very little subtlety. Such as a character stating, “This is why drinking and driving is bad!”. Though the message of your film may be, “drinking and driving has devastating consequences” that message should never be stated in those exact words.

Instead, the audience wants subtlety in their characters thoughts and emotions. This is because in the real world, most people don’t bare their souls for others and often keep a lot of their thoughts and feelings on the inside. So when a character speaks their mind with little regard for how a typical person would react in that situation, the audience starts to question the believability of the story.

Audiences don’t go into a movie looking for a lecture (unless it’s a documentary) they expect a story that is an exaggeration of reality but still contains the same interactions between real people. So if you are writing a story and you find that your message is being stated in a long essay of dialog, remember, actions speak louder than words. So pair back the dialog and instead reflect your message with actions.

Talking Heads
This type of script focuses on dialog rather than action which leads to a bunch of characters standing around talking, hence the name Talking Heads (sorry, it’s not named after the band). This type of script is commonly seen when adapting plays as a play focuses more on dialog rather than action, but it can work as a script as long the dialog is full of conflict.

All stories revolve around conflict. Conflict is the thread that binds the story together. Conflict is either shown through action or dialog, so if you are writing a story that has very little action occurring (not strictly action scenes, but characters doing or experiencing things), then you have to have conflict in your dialog. You will need to highlight your characters emotions and ensure that there are many opposing ideas in the room.

But even if this is your intent, I would still recommend you find some action for your characters to do. Even eating, or leaving the room, or some other simple movement will break up your dialog a little bit and give the audience something to look at besides a bunch of Talking Heads.
Well that’s it for me the week. Next week I will be back to discuss two more script types, but until then remember you leave a comment/suggestion or email me at jobb.writing@gmail.com. Until then, keep writing.

Script Types

Evan Jobb

2 Apr 2014

Before I start with my tips for the week, I have to do a little self-promotion. My film, Those Forgotten, which placed 4th in the CSSC back in 2009 has been accepted to the American Online Film Awards in New York. The festival starts May 1st, so check it out when you get a chance!

On with today’s post!

I have been giving some tips on building the structure of your screenplay, but I am going to take a little break from that and talk about screenplay types that I have run into and how to improve them. The types of scripts I will be talking about are based on scripts I have read (or written myself) or seen as short films and do not represent specific genres, but are more reminiscent of plot ideas. So here we go, the first 2 that I will be discussing are as follows.

Diary Entry
This type of story stems from the old saying, “write what you know”. In this story the protagonist is often very similar to the writer and acts as a way of communicating real world problems. I would think that it is safe to guess that at some point in every writer’s career they have written a story like this (I certainly have), and it’s perfectly reasonable to have written this. A person’s life is often the source of inspiration for a story, either something that has happened, or something that was said or something they saw. The trouble with this type of story is that it stays contained within the life of the writer. The story becomes more of a diary entry and a venting of emotion than a true story that can stand on it’s own legs.

If you want to write a story that resembles the struggles of real people then you will likely find yourself looking toward this type of story. Just remember to make sure you distance yourself from the story. In other words, don’t write yourself into the story. If you do, you will find that you are suddenly constrained to the idea of “you” and the story cannot evolve into something else. Your character now has to act like you, talk like you and face the same problems as you. And though you may think you are a very interesting person with very interesting problems, the audience may not feel that same way because, compared to movie, the average person’s life is not that interesting.

Instead, if you wish to write this type of story (unless you are the most interesting person anyone could possibly meet), ensure that you create a protagonist that is not the same as “you”. Take the troubles you face that inspired the story and expand them into a world that does not contain “you” and does not involve the exact same story as “you”. Open up your world and be creative, don’t restrict your story to simply being a diary entry.

Real World Fantasy/Sci-Fi
This type of story involves adding a fantasy or sci-fi element to the real world in order to show that the world is more complicated or more amazing than the average person realizes. This is accomplished by placing something fantastical into a real world setting. Such a story is in contrast to other fantasy and sci-fi stories in which an entire new world is set up with new rules that govern the way people live. In the real world fantasy/sci-fi story the world in which everyone lives is the same world in which the writer and everyone alive lives: Earth, in the present, plain and simple.

In my experience, this type of story often contains a twist ending that reveals this fantastical element. The twist works as a twist because the audience does not see it coming (because they were under the impression that the setting was the real world). And though the twist is unexpected (which is great) it also results in the audience feeling cheated because they were told throughout the movie that the world was a certain way, and then the movie informs them that they were being lied to.

To fix this issue, ensure that your fantasy or sci-fi element is set up. It doesn’t have to be explicated stated, it can simply be foreshadowed, or some hint that perhaps there is more to the world than meets the eye. You just need to include something that allows the audience to question what is possible in the world of the story and ultimately be more accepting when something fantastical occurs.

Of course, this is just my opinion of these script types and my solutions reflect the problems I have run into when I write. If you have anything to add feel free to leave me a comment of send me a message at jobb.writing@gmail.com and I will be back in a week with 2 more script types to discuss. Until then, keep writing.

Splitting the 2nd Act

Evan Jobb

26 Mar 2014

For this weeks I am taking a tip from the legendary director Sam Peckinpah. Sam Peckinpah (according to the late screenplay master Syd Field) made sure that his films always had a midpoint to help break up the 2nd Act. In The Wild Bunch it’s when they rob the train, in Ride the High Country it’s the night spent in the mining community, in Straw Dogs it’s when David goes hunting and Charlie attacks Amy. As the name suggests, the midpoint occurs in the middle of the movie and serves 2 purposes:

1) The midpoint is a scene that acts to divide the film into two sections, the events before and the events after. It shifts the focus of the film in a slightly different direction that eventually leads to the climax. For example, in the first half of The Wild Bunch the Bunch is interested in pulling off one last heist and retiring and to this end, at the midpoint they steal munitions from a government train to give to a general for use in the Mexican Civil War. However, after the heist the Bunch becomes focused on betrayal and helping one of their own. What it ends up with is two different sections of the movie working together to form an entire story. But that’s more of a description of what the midpoint does, you probably want to know how it can help you.

2) When writing a script it can be difficult to be consistantly building toward the climax throughout the long 2nd ct (of a 3 act structure). But the midpoint breaks up the 2nd act into two parts and essentially gives you a 4 act structure of equal sized parts. Act 1 sets up the story, provides the Significant Event and sets the protagonist on their quests, Act 2, Part 1 builds up to the midpoint, Act 2, Part 2 deals with the repercussions of the midpoint which soon leads toward Act 3 and the climax and the resolution. Incorporating a midpoint provides direction for the 2nd Act and bridges the plot points that end Act 1 and start Act 3.

Often times writers find the 2nd Act the hardest to write because it is so long and it becomes difficult to build and maintain momentum for the entire length. If you are having this problem, place in a midpoint and you should find it easier to maintain this momentum.

In my experience the midpoint is more useful for a feature script but it can be used for a sufficiently long short script (I often write 5 page scripts so maintaining momentum in the 2nd act isn’t as hard) but for a 15 page script a midpoint may help break up the longer 2nd act.

Look for the midpoint when you are watching movies and get a feel for how it is used. It is not used in every film so you’ll have to judge for yourself on whether you think it will benefit your script or not. But if you ever get stuck in the 2nd Act, look for a midpoint to help give you direction.

Until next week, keep writing.

Last Words

Evan Jobb

19 Mar 2014

Last week we looked at how to start your story, so this week we’ll go to the other end of the spectrum. Ending the story.

By now it should be clear that near the start of your story there is a Significant Event that alters the life of your protagonist and for the rest of the story they face obstacle after obstacle in an effort to get their life back in order. So obviously, when their life is put back to the way it was the story is over.

Not quite.

The climax is the moment when the protagonist has the final showdown with the antagonist and must ultimately make a final stand and either right all the wrongs, or fail at their task. But the climax is not the ending of your story. Though the climax is the ultimate ending of your character’s Want as they try to achieve what they have been trying to achieve since the significant event, to get a well rounded story, the protagonist’s Need must also be addressed.

Which means you must have a Resolution.

At the end of your story your protagonist MUST have grown as a character. For better or worse the events of the story MUST have changed them forever. Doing this gives your story significance and answers the question, “Why was this moment of the protagonist’s life told instead of another one?” The answer of course is that this is the story of when the protagonist changed. They are no longer the same character they were before, the story has had an effect on them and they will never be the same afterwards.

So what is your Resolution? How should your protagonist change?

Just as the Climax is the ultimate result of the protagonists Want, the Resolution is the ultimate result of the protagonists Need.

So look at the Need you set up at the beginning of your story and your Resolution will be your answer to it. The Resolution is when the protagonist finally understands what they Need to understand and this knowledge changes them forever.

As soon as the Resolution has occurred and your character has shown their growth, you can end the story. It’s as simple as that. Because now the audience has seen all they have gone through to achieve what they wanted AND seen the effect that has has on them emotionally.

First Words

Evan Jobb

12 Mar 2014

So you have a story in your head, you have a protagonist, you have the struggles and conflict that affect them and you have an antagonist who will do all they can to ensure the protagonist fails. Now all you need to do is write the story. But where do you start?

The first scene of any story are difficult to write, these are the first words any reader will read and they will provide the first impression of the script. And though any reader should not make snap judgements because of the first few sentences, as a writer you should not tempt the reader by providing a stale and boring opening.

So where should you start?

Your opening needs to establish all of the aspects of the story that I discussed last week, but it also needs to grab the audience’s attention. Too often when I see short films they give priority to setting up the story and not enough time on keeping it interesting when it should be an equal playing field.

So here’s a simple trick to help with your first scene. Figure out what your first action beat is: the princess being captured by the imperial fleet, confronting a father, a wife wanting divorce, a man is tortured, whatever it is, and start the story in that scene, just before that moment. Use the space you have to set up your story and characters but know that this first action beat is within the first scene of your story.

This tasks you with setting up the story during an action beat (or just before), instead of setting up the story and then having an action beat.

Of course, this is for short films. The longer your script, the more time you have to set up aspects of the story (and more pieces that need to be set up). But for a short, you don’t have much time, so start the story as soon as you can.

Hope that helps. As always, leave me a comment or send me an email at jobb.writing@gmail.com.

Setting up the Event

Evan Job

5 Mar 2014

From reading last weeks post, you know where to place the significant event in your story in order to provide enough space to fully develop the arc of your story and keep your audience’s attention. And you know that before the significant event occurs you have to build up the story. But, you ask, “What do I have to set up?”

That’s where this weeks lesson comes in.

The significant event causes a change to the normal day to day life of your protagonist and over the course of this story, this event must be rectified. Which means before the significant event occurs, the audience must understand the life your protagonist lives, or else how are they do understand the change that is occurring?

To accomplish this, you need to show the audience the life your protagonist lives and what their personality is. Do they have a family? A job? Hobbies? What are their goals? Aspirations? Who are their friends? But of course you don’t need to describe all of these areas of their life, instead you need to describe only the ones that are relevant to the significant event.

Because the effectiveness of the significant event lies in how well the audience understands it’s significance.

In other words, everything that you set up needs to be relevant to the significant event. It needs to show what is lost due to the event, or what can be gained.

For example, in my latest page script All I Need the significant event was that Chloe was going to confront her father who didn’t want to attend her wedding. To make this event significant I had to do the following things:
Set up Chloe was getting married.
Set up that the father didn’t approve of the wedding.
Set up Chloe’s wife to be.
Set up Chloe’s want: to have her father at her wedding.
Set up my character’s personalities

And as stated last week, for my 5 page script I have to do all of this in 0.5 pages. Which is a bit of a challenge but it can be done. Here was my first 0.5 pages.

INT. DENTIST’S OFFICE – WAITING ROOM – DAY
CHLOE (28) and ANDREA (28) stand before a closed door. Each one in a wedding dress, their hair and makeup immaculately prepared. Ready to walk down the aisle at any moment.

Chloe’s nervousness gets the best of her, she whispers to Andrea.

CHLOE
This was a stupid idea. He doesn’t want to see us.

ANDREA
He will once he sees you.

CHLOE
My father isn’t one to change his mind.

Andrea takes her hand, reassuring her, ready to go.

Chloe looks back at the Receptionist, ALICE (35) and the waiting patients, looking for further support. Alice gives her a thumbs up.

Chloe opens the door to see:

Give your story a look over, remember how much time you have to set up your significant event and make sure you find a way to include all the elements that you need to set up.

Stop by next Wednesday as I talk about where a story should start and what those first words on the page should be about! Until then, keep writing!

When Does it Start?

Evan Jobb

26 Feb 2014

Over the last few weeks I have been giving you tips on how to set up your story by filling in the foundations of the structure. Under your belt you should now have a rough idea of the Significant Event, Want, Need, Climax and Resolution. Over the next few weeks I will go into some more foundations as well as going into some finer points about each concept.

This week I will start with what I find is the biggest challenge facing short film writers. Where to place the Significant Event?

This issue isn’t very apparent in feature films as the vast majority of them do this properly. But it always strikes me, how many short films I watch that forget this important aspect of structure.

Blake Snyder who wrote the screenwriting book, “Save the Cat” stated that in a typical 100 page screenplay the Significant Event must happen at page 10. It has to be page 10, otherwise it is too soon and the audience hasn’t had enough time to learn about the characters, and any later starts taking space away from other structural elements like the second act.

I have taken this idea and extrapolated it to shorts. 10 pages of 100 pages is 1/10th (or 10% for those who hate fractions), therefore in a 15 page script the significant event must occur at page 1.5, a 10 page at the end of page 1 and a 5 page script at 0.5 pages.

Too often I watch a 10 minute short film to see that it take 3 minutes for the significant event to occur, when it is suppose to be 1 minute. The start of the film is the make or break moment, the moment when you either hook the audiences attention or lose it. So don’t waste your time on a long opening that isn’t necessary, get to the events that shake things up and kick the plot into gear.

This rule gives a place for your Significant Event but also places a barrier between the world your protagonist knew, and the world they must now deal with. So when writing your Significant Event remember that you don’t have very much time to set up the world the protagonist knew before the Event. Because the Significant Event is going to shake up the protagonist life and either creates the Want or is a barrier to the Want and drives the actions of the protagonist for the rest of the story. So if you are writing a 5 page script, remember that you only have 0.5 pages to show the audience everything they need to know about the protagonist.

This may seem like a difficult challenge, but it is a must for your story. So get creative and find a way to set up the protagonist and the story in as little time as possible so that you can kick start your plot with a Significant Event which will shake up your character’s life and grab the audience’s attention.

Connecting the Beginning and the End

Evan Jobb

19 Feb 2014

With your protagonist’s Want and Need well established and your Significant Event in place you should find that you have a good foundation for the beginning to your story. But what of the rest of the story?

I trick that I always work with when planning any story is this:

The Want leads to the Climax.

The Need lead to the Resolution.

If you think about the definitions of the Want and Need, this makes sense. The Want is what the protagonist is trying to achieve. The story places conflict and obstacles in the way, but ultimately there has to be a final Climatic event where the audience finds out if the protagonist achieves their Want, or fails. On the other side, the Need is what the protagonist ultimatly needs to achieve emotionally. This leads to character growth in the Resolution when they change for the better, or worse.

We can look back at the example for last week to see this idea in action:

Jurassic Park
Character: Dr. Grant:
Significant Event: Dr. Hammand shows Dr. Grant a dinosaur themed park
Want: show that dinosaurs are dangerous and shouldn’t be resurrected
Need: to realize he wants to start a family
Climax: Dr. Grant and the kids survive the Velociraptors and escape to the helicopeters
Resolution: Dr. Grant learns to appreciate kids and the joy they can bring

12 Years a Slave
Character: Solomon Northup
Significant Event: Solomon is kidnapped and sold into slavery.
Want: to get a message out of the plantation and prove he is a fee man
Need: to never give up hope
Climax: Solomon trust someone to take his message.
Resolution: Solomon is reunitied with his family.

Or form the last short script I wrote (5 pages long):

All I Need
Character: Chloe
Significant Event: father doens’t approve of Chloe’s marriage to Andrea
Want: to convince her father to attend her wedding
Need: to realize some people are not worth your time
Climax: The father calls security on the two brides
Resolution: Chloe realizes that her father isn’t worth pleasing.

Feature or short, these 5 aspects of a story are crutial to the planning phases. Not only do they give you a skeleton for your beginning to be built off of, they also connect to your ending and give you something to built towards.

Until next week. Keep writing and remember to leave a comment or send me off an email at jobb.writing@gmail.com.

All they Need is a Need

Evan Jobb
12 Jan 2014

In the last few weeks I have been building up the structure of a script by introducing a Significant Event into your story and by defining your protagonist’s Want. As discussed, the Want is typically the physical aspect that your protagonist wants to achieve. For example: pull of the heist, find the killer, survive, get revenge. This Want is created by the Significant Event and drives your protagonist throughout the story.

This week I want to take a look at the the next step, the protagonist’s Need. If the Want is physical, typically, the Need is emotional and is some aspect of your protagonist that they must come to terms with and which will lead to their character growth. For example: learn to find happiness in life, discover they love someone, overcome a character flaw.

The Want and Need of your protagonist are crucial to the development of a full and convincing story but on many occasions (especially in short screenplays and films) I notice that one of them is lacking or missing altogether. And most often the lacking aspect is the protagonist’s Need. Together with the Significant Event and the Want the audience is made clear why this story needs to be told and why the events happening to the protagonist are an important tale that needs to be told.

Here are some examples of all 3 structural aspects in feature films:

Jurassic Park
Character: Dr. Grant:
Significant Event: Dr. Hammond shows Dr. Grant a dinosaur themed park
Want: show that dinosaurs are dangerous and shouldn’t be resurrected
Need: to realize he wants to start a family

Adaptation
Character: Charlie Kaufman
Significant Event: Charlie has to write a screenplay for the book “The Orchid Thief”
Want: to finish the screenplay
Need: to overcome his introverted tendencies

Alien
Character: Ripley
Significant Event: A distress signal needs to be investigated
Want: to kill the alien
Need: to survive

In some cases the Want and Need become blurred or are relatively similar such as the example of Alien but many times your script will benifit from a Need that is different from the Want. For example Jurassic Park could have the same Want and Need for Dr. Grant as Ripley has in Alien, but changing his Need makes him a different character with a different outlook and personality.

My suggestion to you is to take a look at your story, ensure you have a Significant Event, a Want and see how different your can make your Need from your Want. Often times in horror or action they become quite similar, but they don’t have to be. Open up your character, find an emotional flaw and build a Need out of it.

It even works for short screenplays. For my last short screenplay I used the following structure to build up my story.

All I Need
Character: Chloe
Significant Event: father doesn’t approve of Chloe’s marriage to Andrea
Want: to convince her father to attend her wedding
Need: to realize some people are not worth your time

Give it a try, map your story out with this structure. You will find that it gives you an objective to work towards and helps keep the story focused.

Next week I will look at how the Need and Want affect the ending of your story. Until next week, keep writing!

Your Protagonist Wants a Want

Evan Jobb
5 Feb 2014

Last week I told you that before you write a story you need to answer this question: “what makes this tale so important to my protagonist?” This questions needs to be answered because it decides why this particular tale needs to be told instead of some other moment in the life of you protagonist. It also takes the story from simply being an event in the life of your protagonist and turns it into a significant event in the life of you protagonist.

Then, your answer to this question can be turned into your character’s Want. Here are some examples:

Jurrasic Park. The story is important in the life of Dr. Grant because he is confronted with real dinosaurs. His want is to show that Dinosaurs are too dangerous and that they should stay buried. This drives his actions in the film.

Zodiac. The newspaper Robert Graysmith works for receives a letter from the Zodiac killer. Robert wants to find the identity of the killer because someone has to do it.

12 Years a Slave. Solomon Northup is kidnapped and sold into slavery. He wants to get a message out to his family and friends so they can produce his papers and prove he is a free man.

As you can see from the examples. The significant event in the protagonists life is the backbone of the plot. It creates and issue that the protagonist must deal with (dinosaurs, a killer, slavery). From this significant event you can determine the protagonist’s Want by determining how they will try to deal with this significant event.

If you do not have a significant event, you will not likely have a well defined Want and the story will seem flat. The event MUST alter the protagonist’s life and force them to act against it. When reading your script ask yourself, “Does this event produce enough of a problem for my protagonist?” If you have worries, up the ante and make the event even more significant.

With the signifcant event and the protagonist’s Want under your belt, you will see that your have a basic plot and a direction your your protagonist to take.

Next week I will talk about your protagonists Need and how that works into your plot arc. Until then, keep writing and remember you can leave me a comment or send me an email at: jobb.writing@gmail.com.

When a Story is a Story

Evan Jobb
29 Jan 2014

I have now written 3 screenplays for this competition that I am apart of, all of which have been written based on a random assignment of a genre, location and object and the most amazing part I have discovered is that I managed to write a complete story for all 3 assignments! I find this surprising because I have a metaphorical pile of scripts (they are actually just folders on my computer) that I have not finished because I couldn’t make the story work or I didn’t think the story could work. But now I am left rethinking my approach because if I can finish these 3 assigned scripts, then maybe any idea can become a story if given enough thought?

This has lead me to the idea of skits vs. stories. When writing these assignments the first test for any idea I came up with was whether or not it was a skit or a story? For me, a skit is an event or a one situation that occurs and then is over. It is often used to build to a joke. On the otherhand, a story is the complete package, it is character growth, it has a story arc and it has a climax.

I always think of it as this. A skit is like a scene in a feature film, it has all the elements of a story, but it lacks it’s own complete arc. The trick to a short is to take an idea and make sure it doesn’t just end up as a skit, but ends up as a complete story. From working on these assignments I have realized a new way of phrasing this issue of skit vs. story. A skit is an event while a story is a significant event. Or to explain it in other words. A skit is something that happens while a story is something that changes the life of the protagonist. In this way, a story should always have an answer to the question, “Why am I telling this story? Why is this day/week/year in the life of my protagonist so important that it needs to be told, but the other times of their life do not?”

In the case of my most recent story, I told the tale of when the protagonist learned that she did not need her father’s approval.

So when writing, ask yourself, “what makes this tale so important to my protagonist? What life changing event occurs?” And if you stop by next week, I will give you some tips on how you can use this answer to create the foundation for your story.

Until next week, keep on writing!

48 Hours of Writing

Evan Jobb
22 Jan 2014

I am currently competing in a 48 hour screenplay challenge and last Thursday I found out that I had made it through the first set of cuts and would be competing with the remaining 125 people in round 3 over the weekend. So for this weeks blog I thought I would let you in on the timeline of my writing as I tackled the challenge of writing a 5 page screenplay in 48 hours!

Friday
11:00pm: I gave up trying to stay up till I got my assignment at 1:00am (teaching high school and getting up at 6:30am will do that do you). So I decided to go to sleep and get up early to find out what I needed to write about.

Saturday
2:25am: woke up for a second so I decided to check my email. My assignment was the following

Genre: Drama
Location: A dentist’s office
Item: A wedding dress

My first thought was, “Shit, drama again”. Though I can write drama, and like writing drama, it is a very broad genre and thus it is hard to focus in on a story. I decided to go back to sleep.

I had a dream in which I turned in my story (all I can remember is that it was about a toy store) but I only had time to write 1 draft. I was cursing at myself for submitting such a terribly constructed story.

8:15am: woke up and started brainstorming, here was my result:

Drama meant that I had to deal directly with the emotions of my characters and that I would probably have to create an internal struggle or a struggle against another person.
The dentist’s office meant that my protagonist would have to be a dentist, someone who works in a dentist office or a patient.
The wedding dress was not going to be easy to work with, it seemed like I either needed to think really far outside the box, or a bride was going to have to come to the dentist office.

The summation of my brainstorming: “I wish I was writing a comedy.”

9:30am: went to work for a few hours and got no further on my story.

12:30am: went for lunch, spoke to my partner, Alyssa, about the story that I was trying to construct. We came up with a concept that involved two woman getting married and confronting one of their bigoted fathers.

3:00pm: started writing. I struggled as I could not find a place to start. Decided to start with the two woman entering the dentist’s office and go for a comedic first page and abruptly switch to drama. Wrote 3 pages and got stuck on writing the ending.

4:30pm: went back to work to run electronics for a swim meet. Did some editing of my story when I had the chance. Though I started polishing up the characters, I still could not think of an ending.

7:30pm: made my corrections and found an ending wherein my protagonist learns that some people are just not worth your time. Finished my first draft.

9:00pm: Gave up for the night as I had reached my goal of completing a 1st draft.

Sunday
7:00am: Made corrections to my draft and completed my second draft. I focused on highlighting what my protagonist wanted and how she felt. I also did some rewriting to make my antagonist to be well… more antagonistic.

8:45am: Sent my draft to Alyssa, so I could get her thoughts and went to work.

12:30pm: Realized I hated my current draft and that the story wasn’t going to work. If my life were a story this would have been the “all is lost moment”. Though the basic story might work I realized that for the story to be any good I would need to remove characters, focus more on the protagonist and speed up the introduction of the story on the first page. I needed to highlight my protagonists emotions and her want so that the climax would be more meaningful. Typically my 3rd draft rewrites half of my previous drafts and takes the story in a slightly different direction. The trouble was, even with all of these corrections, I didn’t know what direction to take it.

1:30pm: The 3rd draft hit a wall. In a flash of inspiration I rearranged my plot because it better served the characters and my antagonist’s introduction was much more powerful. Trouble is my climax became my midpoint and now I am missing half my story. I need some time to think…

2:30pm: Back to the grindstone, Alyssa has pointed out more areas I need to focus in on, and all the parts I don’t need. Though many of the points she made, she made yesterday, it is only today that I have finally come around to see how they fit within the story I am trying to tell. On to more writing!

2:46pm: Finally happy with the opening of the story. 0.5 pages completed.

2:56pm: Except for one line of dialogue, I have the first 2 pages competed.

3:15pm: story is taking shape again, 3 pages completed.

3:23pm: 4 pages done. Just the climax and the resolution to go.

3:31pm: The story is done and looking much better. The intro now doesn’t deal with comedy because that was a bad idea. Instead the intro sets up the characters in a few quick lines and foreshadows the father’s reaction. My protagonist now has a nice moment with her fiancee which nicely leads into the ending. Time to take a break before I edit some dialogue.

4:00pm: Starting on draft 5. I was happy with the plot and the story arc, so this time I am looking at fixing up the dialogue and descriptions. This involves taking a close look at each word and trying to find the best combination to tell the story. I am a firm believer that every word in a story has to have a reason behind it.

5:10pm: After discussing the script with Alyssa it’s time to polish it up once again!

5:50pm: Descriptions are polished, spelling mistakes are caught. 5 drafts later and I’m done. Now to finish my lesson plans and get ready to teach tomorrow!

So that was my weekend, though on Sunday morning I had a script that I could best describe as terrible and I had doubts I could pull it off, by the end, I felt I had an emotionally powerful story with well defined characters and I am proud of the story. The lesson after all of this is, is twofold. “You’re first draft is always terrible.” and “never stop editing.”

Until next week. Keep writing and remember the deadline for the CSSC is January 31st.

First Impressions

Evan Jobb
15 Jan 2014